7 Ways To Introduce Milestones In My Family

My good friend Lumuli grew up in Kenya, and after listening to the story of his public circumcision as a teenager, I had a newly discovered fear of rites of passage. But it did get me thinking. What do we do in our society to mark momentous occasions? How do young men and women know: I have arrived, I am enough, I am supported? While we do have ceremonies such as baptisms, graduations, or weddings, what are we doing to solemnize and celebrate other moments and achievements in the lives of our young people?

I’ve been stranded on the side of the road before, trying to give directions to my rescue ride. Mile markers are valuable tools for locating where you are! In the past, the way distance was measured while traveling was by placing a stone at each mile along the road. This is where we get the term milestone. It has evolved into a term that more broadly describes significant moments, identifying where we are emotionally, physically, relationally, or spiritually.

At True Hope Collister, we believe in the power of celebrating milestones. In the Old Testament, people were often told to construct an altar to serve as a reminder of God’s faithfulness. These piles of rocks would be used as teaching tools for future generations to reflect and remember. Remembering and celebrating are significant parts of discipleship. We want to equip families with the awareness, tools, and opportunities to integrate these essential practices into the everyday stuff in our lives. It could be small moments like a first cell phone, a driver’s license, or a school year completed, or these milestones may be significant like a baby dedication, baptism, wedding, or retirement.

As we celebrate these milestones, we will begin to form rituals or certain things we do for every milestone. Think about the loss of your first tooth and that shiny quarter waiting under your pillow in the morning. That is a ritual, and it makes a moment (the loss of your first tooth) significant. Rituals make moments meaningful and provide us with the opportunity to look back and remember. The key is taking advantage of these opportunities as discipleship moments to integrate faith into our everyday lives.

Here are seven ways to make milestones meaningful:

1. Make a list of potential milestones. Rather than having moments come and go as missed opportunities, make a list of potential celebrations so that you can take advantage of these milestones as discipleship moments. Be creative, and remember nothing is too small to celebrate. Some examples might include:

• Baby dedication

• First steps

• First Bible

• First day of school

• Report cards

• First day of Summer

• Day someone accepts Christ

• Baptism

• First day of middle school

• First cell phone

• Driver’s license

• First car

• Graduation

2. Think about and plan for milestones on your list before they happen. When do we want to give our children their first Bible, and how can we make that moment a meaningful one that will shape their rituals with God’s word for the rest of their lives? When our children get their first job, how can we make this a significant moment to teach them about stewardship and the importance of glorifying God in our work? Simply having an awareness of potential milestones will create an opportunity for conversation and celebration.

3. Bathe milestones in prayer. This Sunday, we are celebrating our recent graduates. Rather than simply handing them a card and offering up a clap, we will call them upfront for a prayer of blessing and commissioning. Pray before, during, and after each milestone.

4. Incorporate Scripture. What verse might impact a child on their first day of kindergarten? What Bible passage might guide a young person on their first date?

5. Make remembrance a part of each milestone. Before celebrating retirement, people often reflect back on their careers. How can we reflect back on life before middle school while starting that new chapter, or how can you remember God’s faithfulness to you as a couple before you had a baby?

6. Don’t celebrate alone. One of the reasons we want to highlight milestones is it allows us to remember and celebrate collectively. What would it look like to get a group of men together to speak into the life of a 15-year-old before he heads off to High School? How could we utilize older generations to make graduation significant? This fall, we plan on bringing pack packs to church before the first day of school so that we can corporately pray over the school year. It’s always more powerful when you include a community in milestones.

7. Share your story. Moms often post a picture of their kids on the first day of school. I love looking back on those photos (before social media was a thing) and laughing at my choice of outfits. But having those photos helps us remember and thank God for his faithfulness. Sharing stories is an essential part of glorifying God in the everyday moments we have, and it provides future generations with an opportunity to learn from our experiences.

One of our goals is to help families with a list of resources so that you can prepare and make the most of milestones. This ever-evolving list will be on our website soon, and many of the milestones we celebrate corporately will include resources or even the gift of a book. If you have suggestions of resources you’ve utilized or of ways you’ve incorporated rituals or milestones in your family, please share those with us through email or on our Facebook page. We’d love to hear from you.